60 signs you’ve been in Singapore too long! (Part I)

May 10, 2002
Singapore Democrats

This post is at least a year old. Some of the links in this post may no longer work correctly.

This item was taken from delphiforums. And they say Singaporeans don’t have a sense of humour…maybe only with PAPPYs!

1. You know that “cum” means something completely different from what you originally thought.

2. You’ve lost your sense of irony, sarcasm, and cynicism.

3. You don’t know what’s lame and what isn’t anymore.

4. You think there’s nothing wrong with putting chili sauce on everything you eat.

5. You wait for instructions from people in authority before doing anything. Always.

6. You join queues without knowing or caring what the queue is for.

7. You know what “queue” means!!

8. You can type an SMS on your phone as quickly as you would if you had a regular keyboard.

9. Your idea of a good night out consists of having dinner at a hawker centre, drinking beer, and then going to another hawker centre and eating again.

10. You’ve lost your ability to criticize people in higher positions than you, even if they’re wrong.

11. You would buy a $20 product you don’t need if it’s on sale for $10 just to save the money.

12. You forget to say the last consonant in words like “faCT”, “aTE”, etc.

13. You think it’s okay to have only one meaningful choice on a ballot.

14. Every task you take on and every group you form is incomplete without a mission statement and a cheesy slogan.

15. You think that in a country where young people have little privacy, pornography is completely banned, music and movies are censored, students of the opposite sex in a dorm can’t stay in the same room without open doors, and everyone works so much, that people should still want to get laid.

16. “Crossing the country” means taking the MRT to the end of the line.

17. You don’t just know what “kiasu” means, you have become it!

18. You think that corn and beans are dessert foods.

19. You would cross the entire country all day to find the places that make the perfect fried noodles, or roti prata, or ice kacang,or chili crab. And none of these places would be close to each other.

20. You have a high tolerance for nagging.

21. Most or all of these acronyms make sense to you: NUS; NTU; ERP; SDU; PAP; MRT; LKY; GCT; PRC; TIBS; SBS; SMS; JB; JBJ; AMK; AYE; PIE; ECP; ISD; ISA; 5 C’s; CPF; CHIJMES; SPG; CWO.

22. You use too many acronyms when you talk, or you create new ones.

23. You think that nothing makes a girl or guy more attractive than to dress exactly like hundreds of thousands of other girls and guys who all dress exactly like girls and guys in malls.

24. You think that $100,000 is a reasonable price for a Toyota Corolla and $1,000,000 is a reasonable price for a bungalow, but $5 for a plate of fried noodles is a barbarous outrage.

25. You believe that not being able to get decent roti prata outside Singapore is enough to keep the best and the brightest people from leaving.

26. You see nothing wrong with forming committees of select elite people to deliberate and study ways to stimulate creativity and spontaneity.

27. You justify every argument with the phrase “in order for us to be competitive in the 21st century”.

28. You think everything should be “topped up”.

29. You have a naive belief that the war against ants will somehow be won.

30. You don’t think any dish of Western food is complete without baked beans.

Watch out for Part II tomorrow.